Thursday, February 21, 2008

My Cat Resume

This blog is called Yarn Cat. Apparently, besides talking about anything that deals with yarn, we shall also talk about cats.
Now, imagine a classic cat lover who like cat since forever, talk about cats constantly, having more than 1 cat.....yes, just imagine for 5 seconds.....
Well, that's NOT me.
I grew up in a family where my dad kept telling me cats are the most useless animals in the world. He said if ever he has more space, he will keep a dog.
That day never happens.
And I don't even think he actually likes any kind of animal AT ALL. He is not a very loving person. He was just saying he prefers dogs.
So I grew up thinking the same, cats are useless.
My best friend Debbie got a cat when we were 17. I didn't want to talk to that cat at all, I kept thinking 'cats are useless, cats are useless...'
Then I went to France one summer when I was in the college. I stayed in my friend's house in the countryside for a week. There was this lovely cat who just kept coming to sit with me. I didn't care at the beginning, but then I watched him walking in grace. I started to love the beauty of this little creature, I started to understand why there are so many people in the world who admire this creature.
I went back to Hong Kong after that summer, still kept thinking about keeping a cat or something. But obviously, couldn't do that since I lived in the dorm in college.
Like most people, I finished my college, landed on a job that everyone think it's great, working on an office routine, planning on getting married, etc etc. But I guess deep down in my heart, I knew it wasn't the kind of life I want just yet. Especially since my trip to France, I realize the world is so big out there outside this little corner in Asia, I just couldn't take the settle down, having a big wedding, stayed in the same job forever thing. So I started to get sick, physically sick and mentally sick. I couldn't get up to go to work in the morning, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. It is amazing how mental health can actually affect one's physical healthy in this extent.
Of course, it wasn't just about the fact that I didn't like the kind of life I was having. There was also my parents, my childhood, the man that I was with who wanted to marry me but didn't understand what love really means. So I moved away from my parents, I broke up with my boyfriend, I locked myself up in the room for days, weeks, months, seeing professionals, trying to find a way out.
I remember there were days I didn't speak to anyone. I felt there was nobody who understood me in the entire world, but I got an idea...why not go to the animal shelter and adopt a cat for company?
So I went to the animal shelter to see how I felt about that. I looked through cage after cage, I couldn't make up my mind. Then there is this little creature who kept maowing at my back, I turned around, he was there....
Kept greeting me, so I thought, 'hi you little thing, what is that you are saying?'
I wanted him.
I worried that I made up my mind too quickly, so I went back there many times to make sure that was really what I wanted to do. I have finally adopted him and named him Larmlarm. Don't ask me what it means, it doesn't mean anything at all.
So Larmlarm was there for me during all the time when I locked myself up in my house. He would come and sat next to me, looked at me intensely, eyeing me with questions, like 'why do you do that to yourself?'
After a few months, I decided to move to Paris. It has never come across my mind to leave Larmlarm. He moved to Paris with me, then now Dublin. We tugged ourselves closely together every night under the duvet. Then, somebody else joined man.
Without him, I wouldn't be able to go through all this time fighting against the devil in my head -- depression.
He is TRULY always there. Healthy or sick, rich or poor, sunny or rainy, he is always there. Sitting next to me or running around the house; maowing loudly or purring gently; he is always there.
I can't imagine a life without him. This little creature saved my life and for the very first time, brought me love and joy in life.